Studies have shown that in marriages where one partner is dominate they have a higher rate of satisfaction and significantly less strife. When both partners are equal there is always the opportunity for an impasse with no easy way to settle it, and so tensions will prevail. With a dominant partner, they can discuss things as a couple, but both partners know the dominant partner gets the final say. These studies bode well for a D/s marriage.
I have read that wives who engage in D/s play come to enjoy expressing their dominate side. No surprise there. It turns out the wives like their new position. D/s becomes a part of the marriage, not just the bedroom. The wives like being greeted at the door with a glass of wine, having their feet rubbed, having their husband seek approval on decisions, and they like having the final say.
One surprising fact is that 53% of all wives want their husbands to openly acknowledge to them that they are the head of the household. Well, 100% of all D/s wives can just make him say it; and if she prefers, while on his knees after kissing her asshole just to make a point!
My wife is dominate but hasn’t yet acknowledged it to herself. For our whole marriage we disagreed on things and any impasse could go on for a long time. We went back and forth on living room furniture for over a year. This is not the sign of a submissive. She clearly has a very strong will. As a result we tended to have resentments and lack intimacy. I want a closer relationship with my wife. I want a sexual relationship that is special to us. I like thinking of her during the day. With D/s who knows where things will go. Maybe she’ll like it and maybe she won’t. We can discuss things but as Domme she will have the final say; including the decision on living a D/s marriage.
Our own D/s Power Exchange
In a D/s power exchange the wife gets the power. However, a Domme is obligated to be attuned to her s/Hubby and his needs. After all she loves him.
In our marriage I want a stronger connection that includes sexual energy outside of the bedroom. I want her to tease and dominate me sexually during the day in addition to our normal interactions. She can do simple things like: making me kiss her pussy to show respect, or put me on my knees to smell her scent while she watches tv, or at random ask me dominating questions (eg. When do you kiss my ass?), or scent mark me, or wear the cock cage with only a shirt for her viewing pleasure, etc., all to tease me and keep the sexual energy present. How much teasing is Domme’s decision. But she can use her pussy and ass outside the bedroom as much as she does within, just more subtly. And occasionally without subtlety.
Before going to dinner I would love her to reproduce the scene to the left. If she regularly enjoyed that type of tease there would be a strong sexual energy throughout any dinner, throughout the night, and throughout our marriage. Within our D/s marriage I’d be happy to submit to her, accept her guidance and her will. In return, she’d enjoy teasing and dominating her s/Hubby daily; fulfilling his craving for her sexual energy. At which point we’d both know that I’m hers, or in D/s terminology, Domme’s property.
Making s/Hubby cleanup the mess is a classic part of D/s. It is commonly ordered by wives who have taken up D/s play. It is about real domination.
After orgasm neither partner has strong sexual urges and the husband loses the desire to cleanup. But the wives like their new dominant position. The Domme wife likes dominating him and wants him to be obedient to her. So she impresses upon her husband that D/s doesn’t stop with orgasm.
The day my wife decides we are going to enjoy a D/s marriage, the day she decides to be my Domme, is the day I would expect her to order me to cleanup. Cleanup really must be enforced. If being Domme is real then the domination must be real. I would never cleanup on my own. She has to order me to do it; she must make me submit to her. Cleanup isn’t to satisfy the husband, but instead, it’s to satisfy her and her position – as His Domme.
With all of that said I know I am too chicken to do it. On one or two occasions she said to clean up and I pretended not to hear her. I admit it, I’m weak. I talk a good game, fantasize, but I need firm encouragement from Domme. Also, a small compromise on the final cleaning might be in order – see below.
Cleanup (kind of)
So, since I am otherwise submissive to her, when she orders me to cleanup I think she’ll be O.K. with the following final cleanup of our cum:
Before I finish I’ll put a towel under her bottom so cum can run out on the towel. Then when she orders me to ‘cleanup’ I’ll submit and finish cleaning her with my tongue.
I’ll take the towel with me to the bathroom when I go to gargle. Meanwhile, she can relax on a clean bed, with a clean pussy, while she waits for her obedient s/Hubby to lay back down next to her. It may even amuse her to watch her bitch have to gargle.
However, in the end she has the final say, and if instead she wants every drop in her bitch’s belly and orders me to “swallow it,” I will obey her.
Cleanup Enforced by a Firm Domme